Baby Steps

Today, I want to take you along on a journey to the distant past. To the time I first fired at unsuspecting and Code-violating miners. 

I want to take you back to the beginnings of my career as a ganker and Code-Agent.

 So we’re talking early January of this year, not quite two months ago.

Here’s the story of my first three ganks (or embarrassing attempts thereof):

My attempt to draw first blood happened somewhere in Verge Vendor, most likely in Jufvitte or Scheenins. I was not yet part of the New Order and knew even less than Jon Snow, but I had read a few guides on ganking and felt like I was ready to burn down the whole system. 

I even had a Cat that was decently fitted and was actually able to fit T2 guns (because I had a mad crush on the Enyo and had skilled in this direction).

So I undocked in my first gankship (probably named “Keera Erquilenne’s Catalyst”) and made my way through the belts, enjoying the perks of a positive sec status and looking for something to unleash my wrath on. It did not take long until I found a Retriever slaving away on some asteroids, and I figured that this would be as good a target as any. I had no scout, no intel, and generally no clue about anything (much like today, actually), but I had determination aplenty, and so I began to slowboat towards the Ret, whose pilot was either massively afk or not worried about a Catalyst attempting to cuddle up. 

My heart was racing like mad as I got close to optimal range. I locked the target (an act of aggression far beyond anything I had done before!), got point  and overheated my guns. Well, I tried to overheat my guns, but I actually ungrouped them instead. Derp. 

After being startled for a moment, I regrouped, overheated and commenced the pewpewing. Needless to say, I was unaware of that oh-so-important issue of pre-pulling Concord, so I guess you can imagine what happened next. The Killjoy Squad spawned right next to me and put an end to my alleged unlawful aggression, while the Ret was just sitting there in mid-hull, probably not even realizing what was going on.

I warped my pod back to station and whined a bit.

Attempt #2 , this time in Balle, went way better, thanks to the guidance of both Tisiphone Dira, who helped me with my fit and provided me with a few Cats to get me started again, and Liek DarZ, who was patient enough to give me a full tutorial on the mechanics of ganking, scouting and Concord. 

The knowledge of these Code agents helped me pull off my first successful gank. I was pretty nervous, but I dare to say that it was a relatively well executed attack. I popped the Ret und got the pod as well (aka pod-death by afk). 

Fattened up by MT

It was nothing special in the grand scheme of things, but it was a special moment for me. I felt like I made a difference in the world of EvE for the first time. 

It just so happened that the savior of Highsec himself, the one and only James 315, was blessing the minerbumping channel with his presence at that very moment, and even congratulated me on my first kill. 

I felt on top of the world and was already fitting my next Cat.

I was hooked.

My third kill came only a few hours later. I acted like a proper agent this time, using a scout, scanning the target and warping within optimal range right away. It was an untanked Retriever, one among many that should follow on my killboard. What’s interesting about this one is the pod, that had an unusual name.  The pilot even had a few implants plugged in, and  the killmail showed a modest worth of 72 Mil ISK, more than I had destroyed before. I was elated.  

 
When I linked my handiwork in the mb channel, people started congratulating me and freaking out about the pod, which I didn’t really understand until somebody posted a link to zkillboard, which estimated the pod at a bit more ISK. Now I was ecstatic. 

That Ret was nothing to write home about...

...but omigod omigod...4,6Bil ISKIES

I popped a golden pod. And I had absolutely no right to do so. My Sig Analysis skill was around level 2 and I didn’t equip any SeBos, so if the pilot had not been afk, he would have been able to save his Genolution set without any problems whatsoever. 

 

That kill got me my first ever mention on the minerbumping blog, which I assume you are all familiar with. 

If not, stop reading my stuff right now and head over there. Go!

Things we learned today:

• Read up on the mechanics of things before you attempt doing something

• Tisi and LieK are hyperawesome people. Seasoned veterans of Code and well respected agents, yet not above teaching a complete scrub the ropes. Thank you.
•  Don’t go afk in space. Period. You might not react in time to save your ship, but you might be able to save your pod.

A Farewell to Awox

 [this is mostly rambling and barely coherent, but I felt the need to give my proverbial five groschen on the issue]

Much has been said (and written) in the last few weeks about the changes to intra-corp agression coming with the Tiamat release in less than a week from now. If you want to read what much smarter and more significant people than me have said on this issue, go ahead and read this great piece by Haedonism Bot or this article by James 315. If you don't want to read their stuff, just man up and do it anyway, it's worth it.

The fact of the matter is that I am one of those players that started out after the game received mainstream media attention. My oldest character was born a scant year ago and I  too, like so many other players, started out longing for epic space battles and getting stuck in what I like to call “PvE Hell”. I ran missions, I chewed on asteroids, I went exploring (the latter activity being the most interesting by a wide margin as it included at least a certain element of danger and player interaction).

And then I quit the game. 

Because I realized after a few months that I found all that stuff mind-numbingly boring.

And then I fell in love with Psychotic Monk, Haedonism Bot and the New Order. I spent days reading their blogs, enjoying their stories of Code Agents, Haedonism’s Wardeccs and the Belligerent Undesirables and wishing that I too could live such a life in Eve. I realized that there was nothing keeping me from doing so, because Eve is (and will be, albeit to a lesser degree) a huge sandbox that hands players a huge array of tools to do with as they please.  Those people and their stories of mischief, mayhem and anarchy rekindled my interest in the game.

So I began my career as semi-competent ninjalooter, dreamed of one day awoxing the crap out of people and blowing up blingy Orcas and missionboats left and right. Today I am little more than a Code scrub, but I have blown up a fair share of miners and even pulled off my first (and likely last) awox, which I will write about another time (spoiler: an Orca dies horribly, I derp around a lot). 

I am having fun in Eve and I hate the thought that this great game is heading into a direction that will make it harder for me to have this kind of experience. I don’t want awoxing to go away, I don’t want a dumbed-down carebeary version of this game, I want the whole Eve experience. 

Many people argue that awoxing is a dirty tactic, a fight without honor and puts corps in constant danger. Hell yes is it and hell yes it does. It’s an act of betrayal and backstabbing with the potential of destroying billions of ISK in assets and ruining a whole bunch of peoples’ days. And it is glorious. 

I do not believe that awoxing drives players away from the game, nor do I believe that this attempt of removing (or at least heavily nerfing) this aspect of the game will somehow raise subscription numbers. What I do know for a fact, however, is that the stories of guys like Monk and Bot made me a permanent subscriber to the game.

The Incredible Hulk

So the other day I was cruising around on my scout, minding everybody’s business and peeking under all ships‘ skirts when I noticed a Hulk popping up on Dscan in Amygnon (where I spent most of my carebear and ninjalooting days and which I still somewhat consider home turf).  Being a ganker and therefore having this weird obsession with Hulks that we all share, I immediately located the ship, warped to 30 and conducted a routine check on the target. The first thing I noticed was the fact that there was no mining permit displayed in the pilot’s bio, so we all know what had to happen next. Not wanting to take any chances, I decided to inspect the Hulk’s fitting, because it’s always good to know what one is up against.

When the scan window popped open, I was shocked. And a little worried. But mostly shocked. Heart racing, I immediately fired up EFT (because I actually have no clue what I am doing and will remain a newb for all eternity) and did some calculations that would have made my high school math teacher proud. My investigation on the EHP of this particular Hulk revealed that I should be able to take it out in a T2 Cat. Probably. Maybe.  Well, let’s just say that the numbers were a bit sketchy, but I figured that this is one of those times were you just need to take a chance and hope for the best (or worst, depending on your perspective). Besides, I really wanted to see that Hulk blow up.

So I went ahead and moved Keera into system, threw together a Cat and almost saw the whole operation fail because some guy called me out in local and squabbled something about not liking people with a -10 sec status (really now, how can you not like a person that is sacrificing his sec status to provide great content for the community?). The Hulk pilot, showing some awareness and not being a complete buffoon, realized the danger his precious toy was in and docked up a few moments later.

Knowing the mindset of most miners (and especially of those who fly around in Hulks) I decided to lay low for a while and wait for my prey, docking my scout in the station where the target was probably shivering with fear in some corner of his hangar. You see, people who use Hulks have made the decision to sacrifice everything (well, tank and cargo at least) for those few more percentages of yield. They see things in terms of ISK and want to maximize their efficiency. Spending their time cowering in a station is not very efficient, so it only took about 10 minutes for the miner to decide that a known ganker being in system would not hinder him from chewing on roids with maximum efficiency.

I gave him a few minutes to get settled in the belt and make him feel all safe and cozy, before I had a quick peek at him with my scout (he was nice enough to return to the exact same location) and set things in motion. I undocked with Keera, managed to get a sweet warp-in within optimal range, said a quick prayer to James 315, overheated, scrammed and began to throw copious amounts of Void S in his general direction.

It was a close call, but I managed to pop the Hulk a few moments before Concord appeared and ruined the party as they always do, saving the pilot’s pod in the progress. Not that I cared much about that, because behold that killmail in all its glory:

 https://zkillboard.com/kill/44370907/

Look at that! I mean LOOK. AT. EEEET.!

That may very well be the most decadent and ill-conceived attempt to tank a Hulk in all of Highsec. It’s literally a Hulk at the price of an Orca. I may or may not have changed my underpants after this particular example of high-stakes elite pvp.

Allow me to take you along for a trip into what I firmly believe were the thoughts of the pilot when he put together this fit:

“So I got this virtually untankable max-yield behemoth right here, that is basically like a beacon for gankers. You know what I’ll do to scare them off and save my scrawny hide should they dare attack me? I will put a few hundred millions worth of deadspace modules on my Hulk, that’ll show ‘em!”

You may think that the lootfairy was unkind to me because the 300mil mod did not drop, but that is actually a good thing. You see, there was a MTU placed right next to the Hulk and my looter did not arrive in time (because derp) to stop it from sucking up all the valuables. Since I had no way of breaking that thing in time, I actually thanked the gods of RNG for destroying the most blingy things.

The pilot played it cool, acting like he was not fazed at all by his loss of almost a billion ISK. I like to think that he had quite a bit of a cry.

Things we learned today:

•  Before putting the blingiest of tank on your Hulk, consider putting your money in a Permit or a Skiff, preferably both.
•  Don’t take your Hulk for a walk when a ganker is in system and has been pointed out in local.
• Have your looter ready and at location if there is a MTU nearby
• Take a chance here and there, it either gets you an awesome killmail or a great story, sometimes even both.